Letter of Advice on Communication Essay

I am honored that you would seek my advice on communication in your relationship. There are many components to good communication, many think that good communication comes naturally. The fact that we have been communicating all of our lives does not mean that we do it well. (Sole, K, 2011 ch1. 1). Communication is complex, it requires many skills and you must be willing to not only practice these, but also continue learning to improve these. There can be many issues while learning to communicate effectively. In order to help you in your quest for knowledge I will go over a few important things I think you should know about interpersonal communication. This advice should help you in your lives together. When it comes to a healthy relationship, effective communication is the cornerstone on which you build it. If you cannot communicate properly, it will have effects in your personal life. When it comes to relationships, effective communication is the most important skill that one can learn. Explain principles and misconceptions in effective interpersonal communications It is important to realize why we communicate. We communicate for a reason. The primary goal of communication is to share meaning and to connect with other people. Understanding these human needs and communication purposes is essential to success as a communicator. (Sole, 2011) There are many purposes for communicating. One of the most basic purposes is to meet personal needs. Humans are social animals; we need to interact with one another. Another purpose is to learn about yourself and others, this is a process that you must continue well into your relationship, I will provide you advice on how to do this. The most important purpose in your case is to build and maintain relationships. Effective communication is the glue that will hold your relationship together. There are certain skills that are required to be an effective communicator. Listening skills are essential research indicates that most people spend more time listening than talking, however most people have had little education on how to be an effective listener. Listening requires focus and attention; failure to listen effectively is one of the key causes of miscommunication. People skills are important to communication as well, this skill requires a wide range of skills in itself. You must be able to determine the appropriate self disclosure, which means how much personal information to share with others, assertion skills, collaborative skills, problem solving skills, and conflict resolution skills. Emotional intelligence is another skill that you must learn. This means understanding emotions and expressing emotions appropriately. Appropriate skill selection is another skill in effective communication; this means the ability to recognize communication problems when they arise. The final critical skill is communicating ethically, this means the ability to understand what constitutes ethical communication. I have given you the basics in order to better explain how effective communication will enhance your relationship. Describe the process by which self concept is developed and maintained It is important in communication to realize who you are as an individual. How you carry yourself can reflect in your interpersonal relationships and communications. Your self-concept is made up several components. You may have a physical self concept, how you look. You may have an academic self-concept; I am a good student for example. The first step to develop and maintain self-concept is to find out what your self-concept is. A good way to do this is to take a pen and paper and write I am on it, and then in ten minutes write as many descriptions of yourself as you can. This will help you realize what you believe about yourself. This can be critical to maintaining a healthy relationship. Self concept is best learned and maintained through interpersonal communication. You construct partially your-self concept by choosing to accept or reject what other people tell you about you. Through communication with others you can use words and actions to influence other people’s opinions of you. Recognize how words have the power to create and affect attitudes, behavior and perception When communicating with each other choose your words wisely. Words are powerful tools; the words you use can have multiple intentions and interpretations. Choosing the wrong words can lead to miscommunication and lead to conflict. Your choice of words reflect your attitude to show an example of this to etter explain the concept, if you work with someone who is particular about things, if you like them you would call them detail oriented, if you don’t you might call them picky or fussy. (Sole, 2011) Both terms have the same meaning, however one has a negative connotation, the other is positive. The words you choose to use will also have an effect on perception of the person you are communicating with, if you realize this it may save a lot of miscommunication conflicts. Evaluate the proper level of self-disclosure in relationships It is important to keep your personal communication going. This means you have to have quality communication beyond about who is going to pick up the kids, pay the bills, or call the grandparents. (Schoenberg, 2011) You have to have quality communication. If you plan to get married and live together for a lifetime, you must continue to show interest and learn about one another. Ask each other random questions, tell your spouse you fears, feelings, doubts and perceptions with each other. Researchers have linked self-disclosure with marital satisfaction. That is why self-disclosure is key to your relationship, you have to take the time for quality communication. Identify barriers to effective interpersonal interactions If you practice your communication skills you can avoid most barriers to your interpersonal interactions. One thing to keep in mind is that researchers found that most couples think that they communicate better than they do (U. S. News and Report, 2011). If you are close in your relationships you may assume that your spouse automatically understands what you mean when you say something. If you say it’s getting hot in here when you are cold, your spouse may think that you are making an amorous advance and may not go turn up the temperature in the house. You must be patient when things like this happen as well and remember that effective communication must be worked at and does not automatically happen. When it comes to relationships effective communication is the most important skill you can learn to keep your relationship alive. If you do not communicate effectively, it can lead to conflicts. These conflicts can cause couples to break up. If you continue to practice your communication skills, you will have a higher chance of having a happy marriage. Good luck and congratulations on your engagement.